#that meat lady was the real national treasure

Best line of the movie

(Source: ksniasolo, via rantrittojr)

But I guess ultimately what scares me about marriage is where do you find this person? You know a lot of times, most successful relationships, people meet through work, school, mutual friends. But what’s most interesting to me is when people just meet in life, just randomly. You know, I have a friend, he got married, I asked him like “Hey, uh, where’d you meet your wife?” He was like “I was leaving Bed, Bath & Beyond. I was looking for my car - I drive a gray Prius. I saw a different gray Prius, I thought it was mine, I walked up to it, I realized I had the wrong car, but I bumped into Carol, we started talking, that was that”. That’s unbelievable. Think about all the random factors that had to come together to make this one moment possible - this one moment that changed these two people’s entire lives: First off, this guy has to live in this particular town. Then he has to get a gray Prius. Then he has to need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he has to go to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then there has to be another guy who also lives in town, also drives a gray Prius, also needs to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, also goes to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond at around the same time. Then they have to both park somewhat near each other, my friend has to leave before the other guy leaves, see the wrong Prius, think it’s his, walk up to it. Then the woman, Carol, needs to be near the wrong gray Prius for a million other random reasons. They bump into each other, they start talking, their entire lives are changed. That’s the most amazing and terrifying thing about life. It is, cause the amazing thing is that at any moment, any one of us can have that moment that totally changes our lives. You could be leaving the show tonight, bump into someone… it could change your life. You don’t know, that could happen. The terrifying thing is… what if we’re all supposed to be at Bed Bath & Beyond right now?

Aziz Ansari, Buried Alive (via psych-facts)

(via silvermutt)

tigermisu:

There’s this guy that rants everyday about how everyone is sinners at our college and someone made a bingo game to go along with him today

tigermisu:

There’s this guy that rants everyday about how everyone is sinners at our college and someone made a bingo game to go along with him today

(via silvermutt)

When I turn 69 I’ll probably laugh about it the entire year

(Source: lolminoot, via silvermutt)

slutdust:

glowcloud:

hiphopfrightsplaque:

"We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity"

Um ok but I don’t recall my virginity having 16 GB of memory with all my contacts, music, photos, calendars, and apps or costing over $200.

my phone is an expensive and important material object and not a useless social construct put in place to shame and commodify women

Plus I remember where I lost my virginity.

This

(Source: hiphopfightsplaque, via silvermutt)

mishasminions:

I JUST LOVE THE FACT THAT THE SUBMARINE HAS A MANUAL WINDOW CRANK

(Source: bloodyoathmate, via silvermutt)

levanna:

gameandwatch:

dirtycartunes:

wtf

how are you getting that much momentum on the third kick


For real tho.

levanna:

gameandwatch:

dirtycartunes:

wtf

how are you getting that much momentum on the third kick

For real tho.

(Source: adrenaline-high, via silvermutt)

gaksdesigns:

On The Shelf by Michael Craig-Martin
magicconchshelly:

camel-eyelashes:

but shit it was 99 cents

the macklemobile

magicconchshelly:

camel-eyelashes:

but shit it was 99 cents

the macklemobile

(Source: illillill, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

jonahryantology:

i made a shocking discovery today

jonahryantology:

i made a shocking discovery today

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

porknozzlejones:

fitmustache:

spinachandchocolate:

stunningpicture:

She was bullied as a child because of her vitiligo; now she’s a model

And she’s on ANTM cycle 21

IM ROOTING FOR HER OKAY 😭😭

She’s gorgeous.  100% honest heterosexual male opinion.

this is amazing!

porknozzlejones:

fitmustache:

spinachandchocolate:

stunningpicture:

She was bullied as a child because of her vitiligo; now she’s a model

And she’s on ANTM cycle 21

IM ROOTING FOR HER OKAY 😭😭

She’s gorgeous.  100% honest heterosexual male opinion.

this is amazing!

afirethatwillneverburn:

racist-murdercult:

50shadesofacceptance:


only in Canada would you find ads about homosexual rape on a bus.

Catch the fuck up America

They dont have this in America?

We don’t even have ads against heterosexual rape in America who are you kidding.

afirethatwillneverburn:

racist-murdercult:

50shadesofacceptance:

only in Canada would you find ads about homosexual rape on a bus.

Catch the fuck up America

They dont have this in America?

We don’t even have ads against heterosexual rape in America who are you kidding.

(Source: miaouler, via porknozzlejones)